Thor: The Mighty Avenger: Reviewed

For starters, let me just throw this out there; I don't give a shit about Thor. Sure, I'll probably see the movie, but I don't think it looks that great. I've never cared for Thor comics, nor have I really followed them. Every time I read it, it's just too damned boring. I genuinely don't care about this character. The only Thor story I've sat down and read (and actually enjoyed) was "Thor: Son of Asgard."

Then recently, all the sweaty dorks were brandishing torches and pitchforks because Marvel was cancelling some young-adult series about Thor. Then I heard from some folks at my comics shop that it actually was a great story, then I saw the writer and artist of a webcomic I enjoy (www.letsbefriendsagain.com) essentially yelling at Marvel for cancelling this series. So fine, whatever, if this is really getting peoples' panties in a knot, I might as well pick it up. So I went to the comic shop and asked the guy working there to order me a copy. Here's what I got.

I dug the art style immediately, I still thought it looked lame because look at Thor. He's a goofy looking superhero. But hey, I shelled out the $15, so I might as well start reading it.

I am an idiot for doubting this book was anything but amazing.

It starts off with Jane Foster, who in the regular Thor cannon is a nurse, but in this story works in a museum. She is made head of the department dealing with Nordic History, and the recently acquired pieces. Within moments of her assuming her new possession, she comes across what appears to be a crazy vagrant in a silly costume claiming to be the God of Thunder. The guards can't seem to hold him back, but one word from Jane, and he's on his way.

Through some more development of Jane, we find that she is falling out of love with a longtime boyfriend, and meeting him for dinner to discuss things. As they find themselves leaving the restaurant, this "Thor" fella flies out of a bar window, in front of them, claiming that he was trying to stop a questionable person from getting handsy with a woman.

Thor gets his ass kicked by a hulking monster calling himself "Hyde." Jane and her now ex try to escort him from the scene and to a hospital. Thor requests that they take him to Jane's museum. He needs something from the recently acquired artifacts, which Jane will let him touch, so long as he doesn't break any of them.

He break's one.

The one containing Mjolnir! ZAP! POW! BZZT! LIGHTING NOISE!

He's gotten his powers back!

Now he's a god, and still homeless. Jane extends an offer for Thor to sleep on her couch.

That's all the setup you need, because it's way more fun when you read it.

I was so thoroughly charmed by this book, the relationship between Thor and Jane is so cute and precious, you look forward to seeing what they'll do together next. She takes him shopping, she walks in the park with him, showing him that though our world is not Asgard, it's every bit as beautiful and magical.

To start with the aesthetic, I loved the art in "Thor: The Mighty Avenger." It has this great Jack Kirby feel to it, while not feeling outdated. If I had to name the style itself, I'd probably call it modern pop-art. It's not like you're picking up a beautiful watercolor by Alex Ross, or an super-realistic look like John Cassaday, but it also doesn't look like an episode of "Batman: The Brave and the Bold." This is great for someone who isn't really into comics, or for someone who is getting too old for the kid's comics, but isn't quite ready for the complexity of the modern superhero story. And for the regular comic reader; you'll be reminded of what made you love comics in the first place; characters you care about, and a bit of welcomed escapism.

In a superhero book, I'm usually looking forward to the next badass action sequence, but in this book, it was all about getting to know this sweet, kinda confused god. When you see Jane and Thor together, they're holding hands, embracing, and just being cute. Call me a romantic, but I loved seeing that.

I loved this book, and I hope that Marvel changes their minds, and at least lets the series wrap up. What this story lacks in action (which their is some, but not a ton), it makes up for in heart. Through every action in every character, you follow Thor on his journey discovering the best in all of us.

If I could recommend this to any one audience, it'd be everyone. Pick this book up, borrow it from a friend, call and see if your library has this. You will not be disappointed.

-P

And you thought Hot Topic had bad shirts...

If there's 30 things I hate, one of them would be "witty" t-shirts. I also hate bumper stickers, old people, teenage girls, fuzzy boots, stick shift cars, art, racism and white chocolate. There are more to that list, but that's not what this is about. I was reading up on that jackass who shot that politician the other day. Totally sad story, makes me sick and reminds me of how frail human life is.

However, on this page there was a link to a "witty" t-shirt site (http://www.thoseshirts.com). Unlucky for me, I thought it'd be a good idea to click the link. I now regret it.

This is not me making a stance on politics; if you're a democrat, you're a pussy. It you're a republican, you're a maniac. This is just some good ol' fashioned hating on shirts. So, to begin...

Ok, I'll admit; I think this one is pretty good. Would I wear it? No. I don't dislike the President, so whatever. If I saw someone wearing this, I'd at least look at it and think "At least they're using the internet."

Aaaaand here's where you start to lose me. Look, if you think Glenn Beck is a smart fella, that's great. However, this shirt does nothing. It's completely inert. Anyone looking at this won't be all like "You enjoy Glenn Beck's television programs? I, too, enjoy said programs! Bully! Let us enjoy a meal and speak of shared interests." That's mostly because nobody talks like that. But also, THE SHIRT IS DUMB. Any passerby would look at it and think you enjoy Becks beer. Because there is almost nothing that sets it apart from the logo it is meant to have parodied. When I looked at it, I initially thought it was just a beer shirt. Then I thought about the context of the site, and figured which Beck we were t-shirting. If you really like Glenn Beck, you owe it to yourself and Mr. Beck to get a less-awful shirt.

Next up:

There's nothing says "positive political change" better than genocide and brainwashing. Seriously, people who made this shirt, THIS is the quote you put on a shirt? This is the sort of thing that newsmakers have to apologize for 24 hours after they say it...Because it's a fucking terrible quote. We should kill their leaders and make them love the Christian God? Bit harsh, don't you think? Oh, and from a fashion standpoint, nobody wears white t-shirts unless they're working out or from New Jersey. Surely, it's not going to get crazier than this, is it?

Spoiler: It is.

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GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yikes. I have nothing to say about these shirts aside from; "Fuck you, whoever agreed to have this printed on a shirt." That about covers it.

Really? Reagan? Ok, I'll give you that he was well liked by the Republican party, but c'mon. There were WAY cooler Republican Presidents. Abraham Lincoln was a Republican, that dude it way more badass than Reagan. Reagan has a highway in Illinois in his honor, Abraham Lincoln is probably in your pocket (I mean money, you're not infested with tiny Presidents).

FLASH! Fact: This is not actually the first rule of gun safety.

If you see someone in this shirt, please walk the other way and call the authorities. This person will be a felon at some point, if they aren't already. You know the guy in this shirt, long hair, bald spot, fucking loves CCR. If you accidentally bump into his fat wife, he will beat you to death with a tire iron, spit tobacco on your lifeless body, and order another beer. The person in this shirt is the reason other countries hate us.

And finally:

"I need a shirt that can really sting the liberals, but I also really need a shirt talking about my cat's balls."

-P

P.S.- I would buy 100 of these shirts before I'd buy a "The Voices In My Head Say You're Stupid" shirt. Any day.

Monsters By Ken Dahl: Reviewed

So, I'm always a fan of indie comics. It's nice to get away from all that sellout superhero crap. That a lie. I love that crap. My pull list at the comic shop is Batman, Batman and Robin, Batman, Inc., Batman Confidential, Detective Comics, and the Teen Titans. I fucking love mainstream comics.

That being said, I got this from a friend, after loaning her Atomic Robo, the Goon, and some other stuff I figured she would enjoy. After months of having fewer books in my long boxes, she returned most of them to me, along with this:

This is written by someone she had correspondence with through the internet over the years (remember myspace friends that you didn't know but somehow felt a connection with? God, 2003 was a long time ago), and had been working on this book. It's a quick read, but well worth it for the $18 it's listed for.

To start out; this book made me uncomfortable. In a big way.

To follow up; I feel like everyone should read this story.

It's the story of a man, living his unspectacular life. Had a girlfriend, a job, and really was just kinda you or I. He notices that he has a cold sore that is driving him nuts and won't go away.

You guessed it, kids! It was herpes. He passes it along to his girlfriend, things fall apart. He then spirals downward into a pit of self-loathing, believing that love and physical contact has reached an end for him forever. Hell, you even see him with women after he knows he has the disease. I'm not going to ruin the book for you, because I honestly do want you to read it (I can say "you" because I think everyone should read it, so "you" is both specific and general, in this case. Wordplay, bitches).

As mentioned before, a lot of this story made me squeamish, and that means something. I'm a horror movie fan, I love gore, violence, over-the-top action, hell, I can read a decent amount of Walking Dead without wanting to kill myself due to depression. Do your worst, the grosser, the better, says I! Nope, not this time. This one made me feel very uncomfortable. Upon reflecting on why this book made me so uncomfortable, I realized something. It's something real. It's not a Wolfman ripping off some dude's head. It's not Rambo unloading on some nameless bad guy. This is a common disease that shakes me to my core. I don't want herpes. You don't want herpes. However, this book takes you on a journey of not only a man's life, but a journey of knowledge. The writer/artist of Monsters is the main character, this all actually happened. Monsters cites a lot of statistics and science fact about the disease, and what it really means to have it. I personally feel like some of the stigma behind the word "herpes" has diminished having read this, it's become just another disease, no scarier. I still don't want herpes, by the way.

There will be some awkward parts, understand that. This book pulls no punches with showing genitals, both infected and not, and blatantly shows the main character actively masturbating. If you're not comfortable with things like that, I won't hold it against you if you choose to pass, but you're missing out on a rich, real, and overall (surprisingly) heart-warming story of a man, no better or worse than you or I, just a man.

-P