3) Get off your goddamned cell phone.
- I know you need to talk to your husband. He's busy at work and doesn't have time to talk to you, but I get it, you NEED to talk to him. You may think the best time to do this is while you're in Best Buy, but the guy who is trying to recommend a video game for your child is also talking to you. We all know how great you are at multitasking, but your husband doesn't want to talk to you right now, and the underpaid salesperson does. Just put the iPhone back into your purse, because right now, that friendly salesperson is fantasizing about you hanging from a noose, with the cell phone still at your ear.
2) Get off your goddamned cell phone.
- What better time to talk about the status of your relationship with your recent ex-girlfriend than at the register at the grocery store? Your credit card isn't going through and the clerk is trying to resolve it, despite the fact that you're begging for her to take you back, explaining in great detail the way you used to sexually pleasure her. Research shows, the person you just threw coupons at (none of which apply to what you have purchased) does not much care to know about the sexual relationship you had with the woman on the other end of the phone. Instead, leave the phone in your pocket, and allow the friendly cashier to assist you. As much as you hate treating those types as people, they can be useful.
1) Get off your goddamned cell phone.
- Nobody is helping you. That's weird. You've been standing in the middle of the Apple Store shouting into it for at least 20 minutes. Your sister tells you that you should probably get off the phone, that it's rude to be on the phone, speaking so loudly in public. What does she know? This is actually sound advice. Sure, it doesn't make sense! Why isn't everyone bowing at your feet? You are standing in a store, and judging by your sweatpants that read "PINK" on them, you have some amount of wealth and status, those idiots should be helping you and you should make it as difficult as possible by continuing your conversation about how Snooki is misunderstood. Have you read her book? It's fascinating! However, conversations like these should be left in the car, in your duplex, or heck, even put them on one of those internet message boards.
The message is clear; get off your goddamned cell phone. Nobody needs to hear your conversations aside from the people on the other end of the line that you are forcing to suffer through your conversation. Hopefully, these tips can be applied to all of your interactions in the world, and people in stores will actually be happy to speak with you, and you will receive the customer service experience a person of your caliber deserves.
Happy Shopping!!
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